Every day, Chris acts more and more like a standard human being. He has even been baking delicious holiday sugar-laden foodstuffs with me!
A few weeks ago, on a whim, we decided to make S’mores bars. The recipe has five ingredients and is really hard to mess up. The first step is to add one cup of graham cracker crumbs to a pre-made sugar cookie mix. Chris started the recipe while I was in the bathroom, and I came into the kitchen to find this:
Chris was standing next to this bowl on the scale looking befuddled. He finally asked me, “How do I weigh out one cup of graham crackers on the food scale?”
Because OF COURSE anything involving food preparation would involve the food scale.
I think he was a bit disgusted when I suggested that most people would use a one-cup measuring cup to measure one cup of graham crackers (what revolting imprecision!)…but he agreed to do it.
I’m sure you thought the next thing I’d write was that we screwed up the recipe, but we did NOT! The bars were impeccably delicious.
This was probably due to Chris’s watchful cook’s eye.
We made S’mores bars again for Thanksgiving.
Also on Thanksgiving, Chris agreed to run a charity-sponsored turkey trot with me. To promote the charity, the theme of the turkey trot was “Hydrocephalus: It IS brain surgery!” which was a pretty awesome theme. I love people who have a sense of humor about hydrocephalus. We now own hats and t-shirts with this slogan.
But I digress from the key point of this story which was that Chris ran with me! For 3 miles! Our time was 26:30 which shocked me so much (based on Chris’s lack of running training) that we drove the course after we were done to confirm that it was really 3 miles; (it was). There was also a windchill of 11 degrees (F) that morning so perhaps that pushed his pace. He wore the following cold-weather running outfit:
Not too exciting of an outfit huh? The night before, I did get him to try on some running tights but he rebelled against wearing them during the actual race.
Sooo, if I got this right, wearing the spandex equivalent of women’s underwear on stage for a bodybuilding competition is totally cool, but full-coverage spandex pants are not? Okay Mr. Modesty…
Actually, I believe his main objection to the running tights was that they squished his thighs uncomfortably. He couldn’t pull them up correctly and I was mocking him as a silly man who doesn’t know how to pull up tights correctly but then I tried to do it for him and tried to find loose fabric to grab to pull the tights up his quads and there was none. His thighs were encased in those tights like a sausages in pig intestine. As I failed to find any bunching fabric on his quads, Chris smiled and said, “Wow, I guess my quads really are big!” He said this as if this fact had never before been established.
So in addition to cooking S’mores bars twice over the last few weeks, we also made oreo cookie balls.
Our blender was having trouble crushing the oreos on its own so, naturally, Chris picked up the blender, while it was on and blending, and vigorously shook the thing to help it out. The shaking was so vigorous that his arm veins stood out.
He did successfully crush all of the oreos in this manner though which makes me think cooking for the very muscular is an area that really should be better explored. Imagine a cookbook entry: “Should your blender get clogged, palm the lid in your over-sized, muscular hand, and violently jostle the blender using all of your strength (arm veins should be visible); your goal is for you and electricity to contribute equally and as one to the blending of the food. For best results, shake food until muscular failure or until food is well mixed.”
After all our baking, Chris and I needed some take-out. Chris suggested we again try the wings and Mexican food place; that’s right, THE wings and Mexican food place; there’s only one wings and Mexican food place.
This time, he ordered 14 wings and ate only his 14 wings.
And he felt much, much better afterwards this time compared to last time. He has successfully learned the societal reintegration lesson that 14 extra large wings are okay for his stomach, but over twice that number of extra large wings are not okay. Way to go Chris!
And that’s what we’ve been up to.