I got another “Chris-eating-yogurt-in-an-unexpected-place” picture today to add to the collection!
After going to another Johnny Appleseed festival -Johnny Appleseed festivals are our thing these days- where we saw a llama and were given free toothbrushes (by a human, not the llama), we sat on the summit of Mount Wachusett for 2 hours this afternoon.
“How am I getting Chris to still hike when he is two weeks out from his show?!” you ask.
Um, well, we drove to the top of Mount Wachusett.
And then we sat there.
For two hours.
And we drank large sodas.
Diet large sodas.
But still large sodas.
And we were sitting in Midwestern-college-themed canvas chairs.
And Chris’s shirt said “Boomer Sooner.”
And then Chris busted out the vat of yogurt.
And well, yep, that was the afternoon.
When we entered the park, we had to roll down our car window to pay the $2 parking fee and the park ranger, clearly noticing our youth, capacity for physical exertion, and large sodas asked us, “Hiking or driving?” I muttered to the floor, “um, well…driving,” and he took my $2 and looked away in disgust.
I wanted to yell to him that, much like a newly pregnant woman suffering complications, Chris had a hidden disability; he is a dieting bodybuilder who is two weeks out and he doesn’t have any fat or any glycogen and it’s exciting that he’s even out of the house right now and I promise, really, we did hike this mountain before, and it was nice to hike, but, while we were hiking last time, we saw these other people who were driving and driving looked easy and hiking is hard and when people have no glycogen and no fat, well, that’s when you make the choice to drive up the mountain.
Also, park ranger, we want to sit on the summit with our Midwestern-college-themed canvas chairs and large sodas and a vat of yogurt.
But I did not tell the park ranger these things. I just closed my window quickly and drove up the mountain in shame, watching the hikers sweat their way along the steep grade as I metabolized a single glucose molecule contracting my plantar flexors on the accelerator.
(In full disclosure, I didn’t feel like hiking today either. What with the llama and free toothbrush excitement, I was ready to just sit on a mountain summit too).
On the way home from the mountain, we went through Dunkin’ Donuts drive through where Chris ordered me a “chocolate latte” (known to most people as a “mocha”) and got himself this bag of noncaloric Pumpkin flavored coffee that he has been talking about getting nearly every day since he saw an ad for it a week or so ago. This coffee is EXCITING.
Speaking of exciting, Chris has started to fantasize about what he’s going to eat when non-dieting life resumes after the contest. At one point, he told me he’s going to go to McDonald’s and eat a giant burger and fries. I will bet money that this will never happen. He also told me about some food fantasy involving a six egg omelet. And he talks about pizza a lot. We have some gooood conversations these days…
Switching topics, Chris is sometimes spacey, but still cheery, and last weekend, at his friend’s wedding, he shocked us all with this extreme display of energy:
Perhaps the pocket protein bars and wedding chicken, which he spent several minutes explaining how he needed cooked as boring as possible please, fueled him up for this.
Fourteen days. We’re almost there.