We made it. I am writing this from our new home: a hotel in Westborough, Massachusetts. We’ve been busy.
Last Saturday, we dumped everything we own into a UHaul. It is so good that Chris is strong.
Like really, those muscles aren’t just for show.
I was totally impressed by Chris’s moving skills. Not only was he able to manhandle dressers and hefty boxes but, in a grand feat of mental tetris, he perfectly fit all our stuff into the UHaul.
Sunday morning, Chris awoke at 5 am, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Sunday morning, I awoke at 6 am, groaning, as this was still one hour prior to our agreed upon waking time, but Chris had returned caffeinated from McDonalds and was joyfully bustling about the apartment.
After returning our friend Jeremy’s air mattress, we were on the road by 7:45 am, me in my Corolla and Chris in the perfectly packed UHaul, for what was supposed to be an 8 hour drive to my parents’ house in St. Louis. We hit a torrential rainstorm around Tulsa, the city with highways perpetually under construction, and had to drive turtle-like because we couldn’t see the road and there was absolutely nowhere to pull off. This was the least fun driving of the entire trip.
Chris’s plan for the trip was to eat large amounts of Fage Greek yogurt. Large amounts. As in, four tubs a day dispersed throughout his first four meals of the day. The last meal of the day was supposed to be several Pure Protein bars. He had made this plan a few weeks ago and figured this was the easiest way to hit his macros while traveling.
When we were finally able to pull over, after Torrential Tulsa, at the first rest stop in Missouri, Chris breathlessly informed me that 1) at this moment he would pay $10,000 for movers to come and drive the UHual for him through the super narrow construction lanes and never-ending torrential downpour and 2) he had gotten so hungry during the downpour that he had deviated from the plan and consumed protein bars instead of yogurt as yogurt would have required pulling over to eat and, as stated previously, we were unable to pull over. Stupid Torrential Tulsa.
We made it to my parents house that night in 9 hours. Chris sprinted and I repeatedly ran at my “fast” speed up a hill near their house for our workouts. For dinner that night, my mom made tacos. Chris enjoyed the Greek yogurt. (And almonds.)
Monday, after a firm discussion Sunday night, Chris awoke very quietly at 6 am while I slept peacefully until 7 am. On this, day two of our journey, we drove 13 hours to Durkin, New York. Although it rained most the day, it wasn’t Torrential Tulsa so it was much less stressful and everyone was able to eat their yogurt…while sitting in their UHauls…at gas stations.
Our goal that day was to make it to Erie, PA. However, Chris is a limit pusher. So of course, if our goal was to make it to Erie, PA, we were not going to spend that night in Erie, PA (never mind that there were 8 different nice looking hotels right off the highway to choose from and it was still light out as we drove through Erie, PA). We were tougher than those wusses needing to stop at Erie, PA. We were going to push past Erie, PA…into the abyss.
The abyss turned out to be Durkin -located one hour of dark, windy, deer-infested road past Erie and giving us the joy of paying $20 of New York hotel taxes. But we beat our goal. Erie, PA was like competing at 6% body fat but with Durkin, we were at 3%! You won Chris! ……
On Tuesday, Chris allowed me to sleep what he claimed was a bit more although it didn’t really count because we had just crossed over into the Eastern time zone and I had announced before bed that, since it was just us keeping a schedule with each other, we didn’t have to act like we were on Eastern time yet and we could still pretend we were on central time; I could sleep more if we didn’t switch over! But he disregarded my logical wishes and woke me up. Which brings me to something that needs to be discussed: Chris always needs about 30 minutes less sleep than I do, but when he’s dieting, he needs much less sleep. We have spent hours hypothesizing reasons for the diet-induced sleep reductions and there is no clear answer other than that many physiological changes (hormonal, cardiovascular, body compositional, etc.) are clearly occurring and these influence sleep. Anyway, his lack of needing sleep is probably my least favorite part of the whole contest prep thing. I suppose I’ll survive. He did carry the dressers.
Tuesday afternoon we drove through beautiful parts of New York and Massachusetts and around 5:30 pm arrived at our current hotel home.
The first thing we did after getting to the hotel was to find a grocery store where Chris bought foods other than yogurt. He only ate four tubs of it a day for 3 full days…why did he need something different?
We went to a Gold’s gym affiliated with our hotel after the grocery store Tuesday night. We did not go to the pre-selected Worcester gym that Chris had been excited about because we could not bear the idea of driving much and, well, because the Gold’s was free.
Wednesday and today we’ve been apartment hunting. There were some anguished moments where we decided we should just go back to Oklahoma and commute each day by airplane, but tonight we’ve got it narrowed down to two good choices: an ancient baby carriage factory (renovated, fortunately) with a short commute or a condo on a mountainside with a longer commute. The ancient baby carriage factory is farther from fun things but closer to work and the mountainside condo is farther from work but closer to fun things. The mountainside condo is also close to the gym that Chris was initially excited about. Also, it’s not really on a mountainside; it’s just partway up one of the steepest hills I have ever seen in my life (scared-my-car-might-go-vertical-and-flip-over-backwards steep).
We’ve also been gym hunting. In the last two days, we’ve visited eight apartments and five gyms. (If we live in the ancient baby carriage factory, the gym Chris found online will be too far away). It does look like the gym situation will work out too.
In other news, Chris’s weight is down to 199 lbs and he’s looking leaner. Despite the stress of living in a hotel and deciding big things like where we’ll live and what gym we’ll go to, he’s doing well. During previous contest preps, when things started getting intense, Chris’s robotic instincts increased and his sense of humor decreased. Fortunately, right now, his sense of humor is fully intact. Today we were being shown an apartment in what the realtor promised us was a “nice area;” when we left the showing and were alone in my car, Chris could barely keep it together. I asked why he was laughing and he told me, “I’m about 95% sure I just saw a drug deal go down on the corner from the window of the “nice area” apartment we were just shown.” When I asked how he knew, he described the body language he saw, and confidently told me, “I’ve watched a lot of Nat Geo drug busts and I’m pretty sure that’s how these things go down.” Later we saw an intact toilet sitting on the balcony of another “nice” apartment we were being shown. Chris also laughed at this.
Life with my bodybuilder, even in a hotel far away from the familiar, is good.