The Post-Workout Announcement

Chris just got back from the gym.  It’s always a flurry of activity when he gets home.  Benefiting the accruing of his constantly accruing and degrading fiance-points, he always says “Hi Lindy!” with enthusiasm as soon as he steps in the door.  He then sets his keys, wallet, and gym bag down while he takes off his shoes and, frequently, excitedly announces a brilliant new plan that came to him during the just-completed workout!  This brilliant plan usually sounds something like the following:

“So, I’ve decided I’m going to start dead-lifting 450 for sets of 5 instead of 400 for sets of 3 with alternate days of 500 for sets of 100 and headstands for sets of 10.  I think that will fix my lateral conjervature of the cervicalular fibula.”

Let’s dissect this statement sentence by sentence to understand what the excited bodybuilder could be saying.

Sentence 1:  “So, I’ve decided I’m going to start dead-lifting 450 for sets of 5 instead of 400 for sets of 3 with alternate days of 500 for sets of 100 and headstands for sets of 10.”

Sentence 1 Translated:  Previously Chris was dead-lifting weights that are much heavier than what I can lift.  Now, he is changing his workout.  With this new plan, he will dead-lift weights that are much heavier than I can lift.

Sentence 2 Translated:  “I think that will fix my lateral conjervature of the cervicalular fibula.”  

Sentence 2 Translated:  Chris has forgotten that he has a list of around 500 possible methods, accumulated one at a time after workouts in joyous moments of clarity like this one, of fixing his hip/back.  (You caught me; it is really his hip/back that bothers him occasionally and not the lateral conjervature of the cervicalular fibula as stated previously; that’s actually not really a body part).   It’s a constant battle around here to keep his hip/back in tip-top shape.

So today’s post-gym declaration was that it’s time to stop doing 5 x 5 squats and to start doing 5 x 10 squats.  To summarize the brilliant idea, 5 x 5 squats take too much time, take too much out of him, and he feels like they may aggravate the ole hip/back.  5 x 10 squats, conversely, will save the world.  So, that’s the big news everyone!  5 x 10 squats coming up.  No more of this 5 x 5 junk.  5 x 10 squats all the way!  If this fixes his conjervature, you’ll be the first to know.

Pictures of Chris squatting are below.

Chris records himself squatting to analyze his form.  He meticulously studies these videos post-workout looking for any offending hip/back action.  This picture and the two below it are still images from videos he took.  I mention this because when I take a picture of someone, I usually include their head...

Chris records himself squatting to analyze his form. He meticulously studies these videos post-workout looking for any offending hip/back action. This picture and the one below it are still images from videos he took. I mention this because when I take a picture of someone, I usually include the head…

Depth!

Squatting to depth: what makes a man a man

 

4 thoughts on “The Post-Workout Announcement

    1. Lindy Post author

      I do my best to interpret my bodybuilder’s speech and behavior. It’s hard work what I do.

  1. Trev

    This blog is a fantastic idea. Sounds so much like something my S/O would do. I’ve got a few OCD ticks I’m sure he’d love to exploit. We are from Oklahoma as well (Mustang)

    1. Lindy Post author

      Please encourage him to exploit them in my comments section.

      Glad you like the blog.

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